Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Like I've said before, I think the whole mystery behind the so called fabled "Tree of life" is simple. We can't find it because we're on it!
Earth is the tree of life!
The ancient mystic who first started the story was lost in a desert, eons ago, and under a dying tree, near death from dehydration, he hallucinated, and for the first time he saw the braches of the tree reaching out for the stars as it's roots and the soil/earth he lay upon, as the tree's real branches and leaves, the tree itself, infact!
A funny palindrome, this tree is...
and all the living things are it's fruits. When we die, like a ripe fruit falling into the ground and becoming manure (one with earth), our souls will, perhaps, fly away on a new adventure, into space or become one with it!
This might explain the unexplainable "dark matter"... or maybe not.
Nevermind the crappy pic, lol!
Friday, November 21, 2008
The name is due to my fondness of "Crazy Jane", a character in Doom patrol.
Tim is just “innocence” delivered through the voice of Sir Wodehouse. I pretended to be Wooster every time I wrote Tim’s (Sir Wodehouse’s) adventures for my own personal comedic pleasures, and its cyclic justice just makes me smile.
Syd is Syd Barrett. His mind left his body when he was a young man and I wasn’t sure where it was. This was my way of trapping the mind/soul of my favourite artist in a rose coloured world where he won’t be scared or hurt anymore, while his body suffered in this cruel world of owrs. The least I could do for him.
Ed is the common point between me and my love. He’s both of us.
Ok, now the story will start making more sense... or not...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
what I meant to say is that it doesn't require my permission to reproduce, reprint or whatever this work, as long as you have hers.
Ah, just needed to clear this one out.
P.S: That's all folks, from today on, I quit writing... Getting tired of putting out crap after crap.
I am done as far as writing is concern.
It has been fun though, and I thank all the readers if any have been reading it at all.
This is my goodbye... I probably will post one last chapter to tie up all lose ends... and that's it, I'm done.
thank God it's over!
Oh, and this is also my farewell to my girl. from this day on I shall not even think about her, nor should she ever think about me again, that is if she loves me even a bit, oterwise I will lose my soul to a being called "Anaob".
I know it sounds silly but remember that simpsons episode where Bart sold his soul? Well, it's kindda like that, and I am real scared, so please save my soul, and love/remember me no more.
we haven't met yet, keep it that way. Please stay away if you like me.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
THE OPERA OF THE PHANTOM
PART ONE: YOUNG MAN WALKING THROUGH GRAPHIC NOVELS!
In a theatre, you find yourself.
Eddieson walks onto the stage.
Today, Ladies and gentleman, I am in a sad mood, and therefore, I present to you, a chapter tingled with the blues, but first, here’s the first part, disguised as a play. The whole chapter is basically just technique, acting as plot. I must warn you to enjoy the show for your own goodness. Chin-chin!
Eddieson exits stage and curtains unfold to reveal dim lights and a bare stage.
Two young men walk onstage carrying a big cardboard with a painted landscape on it. They lean it on the wall, and then go bring two chairs for themselves. They place the chairs in front of the background landscape picture, and sit themselves down with a coffee and a joint in their hands.
Two sexy girls walk onstage carrying another sign:
“ACT ONE: INTRO - THE PLAY OF SILENT EYES”
They walk off.
The play begins!
I see a dreamer. The dreamer is in the dream, which makes him a part of the dream.
Now here we’re, in real life. Well, look!
He’s sitting right beside you, look!
A part of a dream leaking out into reality?
The dream is the soul which makes flesh and bones feel, scream, and dream. It makes the pile of shit stored in your head think! The only unreal component of a being, yet the only thing that’s actually real!
I still am not clear how this theory is connected to counter-writing the storyteller... hmmm... we’re dreams, but whose dreams are we? The dream dreams us into being, as we dream a dream into being just by dreaming it.
A wild forest of gray-scale dreams. They scream and twist their way out through us. The dreams want us to give them shape and form, a body, and in return, they’ll accept us as one of them. We, a bundle of flesh and bones, lifeless stardust, will live, become a living dream.
The nightmares track us in the shadows, as our shadow. There is always somebody watching the watcher, writing the writer, and ruling the ruler.
Unfold Dream, or else the nightmares will own us, dream, Unfold!
I don’t think that anybody’s listening to me anymore. Why does communication only break down when we make perfect sense? By the way, who’s the idiot who wrote the script?
Your view drifts off the boring play onstage, onto the dark, old and almost empty theatre. A dark monolith sits on the seventh row, alone, munching on a bag of popcorns. On closer examination, you find that it’s not popcorns that the dark figure is munching on, it’s human skulls! It turns its jaws in your direction and coughs out a howl and a gallon of blood, It’s the Dark Wolf! Now, you look at the poor idiot sitting next to the insane nightmarish monolith, oh no, dear reader, it’s YOU!!!
PART TWO: THE ONE WHO LIVED!
In Toronto, a young man lives. A simple country boy who could be best described as a village idiot. He was having a rough time in the big city.
The shadows of the big city had caught up with him, and now they spread under his eyes. He does a line upon a mirror and wonders what had happened to his life.
He use to think that he lived in a bad neighbourhood, now he realizes that he’s just plain trapped in one. He is surrounded by depression and insanity, and the only time he ever feels sane is when he goes to college. There his friends are different, and he feels like the boy he once was, optimistic and full of hope.
He has totally screwed up his studies but he still goes to college every once in a while just to escape the insanity. It reminds him of the dreams he once had.
It’s been months since he decided to stay sober, but loneliness can play wicked tricks on one’s mind. He sits in the park all evening and talks to the CN tower. It blinks back at him, it seems.
To escape hell, he writes, to a girl far away, in the college library. Sharing his thoughts, stories, moods, and pain, day by day, his addiction shifts from pain to pain.
Today, however, he feels so very small.
The Girl, unresponsive, thus causing brain drain.
In the damp room, he sits and prays. He then rolls his eyes to marvel upon his work, ah, such a lovely pretty noose! It fits like a charm, and as he jumps from the table, it hugs his life away. Takes him far, far away!
The young man who had committed suicide by hanging himself wakes up after three days! He still finds himself hanging by the noose, back in his room! Confused, he cuts the rope and climbs down. He thinks that he’s already in hell and quickly grabbing a pocket knife in his hands, he jumps on his bed, and waits there shivering, for something to happen.
“Do you know what happened? How come he was still alive? Tell me or else I am gonna eat you up, body and soul!” the Dark Wolf growls at you, Dear Reader.
You, Dear Reader, find yourself back in the theatre once again, next to the Dark Wolf. You try to scream, but the Dark Wolf shoves a book down your throat.
“Read this first, it’s Tim’s Dairy, and then we’ll go see what happened, and how the idiot survived the suicide!” yawned the Dark Wolf, trying to sound gentle but failing miserable. You, Dear Reader, piss your pants, sorry, hehe!
PART THREE: TIM’S DIARY - LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIEND
Ah, Dear dairy, why must a young fantastic man like me be haunted by this monster called mid-term exams?
I was in a pretty rotten mood when I woke up this morning, I mean, it wasn’t morning at all, it was almost evening! I missed my classes again! What am I gonna tell my teacher now?
I quickly made some coffee and dedicated all my muscles to thinking up a good excuse. It took just over an hour to think of one, pretty simple for an intellectually gifted thinker like me, I guess. I was just about to rejoice and whatnot, when I suddenly realized that I had forgotten what the fantastic excuse I had just thought up was, but that didn’t matter anymore as I realized that today is Sunday!
Hehe, typical! Me being a genius and all, happens, you know!
However, this getting up late thing was irritating, to say the least, I mean, I totally missed the morning cartoons, you know. So I decided to sit there and be grumpy for about a minute or two. Plan didn’t work, I mean, I was still irritated, so I decided to dress up and go meet a friend.
I was halfway to the subway station when I suddenly realized that I haven’t brushed my teeth yet! Well, no problem, I buy myself a handful of breath-mints, hehe, improvisation, the trademark of a heavy thinker like me, I guess!
I buy a ticket and got on the train. Wrong train! I get off and board another train, but in the confusion, I got on the same train once again! This was getting weird! Well, about half an hour later, after getting on the right train, I finally reached my friend’s apartment.
My friend’s name is Lenore. Lenore’s a Goth rocker. She likes to sing, or rather, bleed innocent people’s ears with her whining. I knew I should’ve bought earplugs, but I guess it’s too late now, so I bravely walked up to the door and gave it a few knocks.
I was blissfully hoping that she wouldn’t be home, and was about to turn around and leave, when the door suddenly swings open, and she pops her gigantic head out.
“You’re late Tim!” she barked, “and why didn’t you come earlier like you said you’d?” she added.
I step back, so as to position myself at a safe distance away from her sharp teeth, and I asked her if I could come in first.
“Of course, Ugly!” she replied, as if it was suppose to flatter me.
I went in and placed myself upon the sofa.
There! Nice and comfy.
“The weather’s pretty f**ked up, eh?” she asks me.
I nodded, and asked her as politely as I could to shut the f**k up and bring out the beer.
She told me that I sounded as if I’ve been lonely for too long, and suggested that perhaps a hug delivered to the backdrop of a song by ‘The Cure’ might help. I told her straight up, that hugs are good, but beer’s better. She smiles at me as if I am an absolute idiot and then goes in to get some beer.
I turn on the TV and watch cartoons.
She returned with a case of beer, and it made me blush. I quickly hide my happy face, and pretend to be irritated to preserve my reputation of being a tough guy.
“So, have you finished your final assignment?” she asked.
“Yeah” I replied casually, grabbing a beer hard so as to display my biceps, and almost chocking on it.
We were suppose to write a play for our final assignment, you see.
“What’s it about?” she asked. She’s real good at asking useless questions, you know.
“Well, it’s about this kid buying an ice-cream, you know, and then he goes and sits around in the sun. The ice cream starts melting, and very soon completely melts, and that’s when the kid yells, ‘I hate global warming’ and that’s about it. Yeah, a masterpiece, I know.” I replied, grabbing another beer.
She laughed, rather like a voodoo doll specially designed to laugh like a hyena, I must add.
“Hey, what’s so funny? What about your assignment?” I asked.
You see, Lenore lived on some monthly allowance dished out by her rich Aunt. Her aunt really likes theatre, so she made her study theatre. Now, the problem was that Lenore didn’t like theatre much. All she ever wanted to do was to be in a Goth rock band, but her aunt made her take up theatre, and she couldn’t dare disobey her aunt or her allowance would be cut off. Now, her aunt didn’t object to her joining a band as long as she does it after she completes her theatre course. All she had to do now was to submit her play on Monday and she was done.
“My assignment? Well, it’s about a rat and a princess, you know. The princess has to kiss the rat, a kiss of true love, to change the rat into a handsome prince. The problem was that when the princess kissed the rat, she did it half disgusted, and so instead of the rat turning into a charming prince, the princess turns into a snake.”
“Ok, don’t tell me what happens next, I like suspense.” I said, grabbing another beer.
“Well, I still haven’t finished it yet. I was hoping that you’d help me finish it. I don’t have much time left, and I can’t think of a suitable ending.” She said, with a cunning calculated smile.
“Ok, go get whatever you’ve written so far and we’ll see where it goes.” I said, finishing my third beer.
She ran into her room, and after about half an hour, emerged, looking every bit like an unhappy sloth with a bad toothache.
“I can’t find it! It was in my bag and I can’t find my bag. I think I left it at the theatre when we went to see the play yesterday.”
Things were looking bleak, I mean, if she doesn’t submit her play tomorrow, she’d be cut off her allowance by her aunt, you know. And, as far as writing it all over again is concerned, it was useless, as she takes at least two days to write a page. Now, the theatre in question is the Soul-pepper theatre, which is situated in the distillery building, which is where our classes are held. It would be open tomorrow, but we needed to get the play back now, the problem is that it was closed today.
“Here, have a beer.” I told her, in hopes to calm her down a bit.
“Do I look like I freakin’ need a beer now?” she shrieked.
“Yes, have a beer, and I promise you that I’ll think of something.” I said.
She relaxed a bit, and I sat there with a beer in my hand, thinking of something, exactly as I promised, ha!
She began bugging me again, as soon as she finished her beer. It was getting irritating, and I couldn’t drink under such stressed conditions, so I told her that we’d go break into the theatre and get her play back as soon as I finish my beer.
It was already getting dark by the time I finished the beer, and I was real tempted to pretend as if I was dead drunk and pass out. I mean, me and my big mouth, how the hell am I suppose to break into the theatre?
About a minute later, we were out in the street, on the way to the theatre. Half an hour later, we were standing outside the distillery building trying to figure out a way in. We were busy doing so when I realized that the main entrance door was slightly open! Maybe they’re open today, you know, I couldn’t believe our luck. We went inside.
Once inside the theatre, the light was dark and there were a few odd people moving in the shadows, we figured that they were gonna rehearse or something, so we thought it best to look for her bag after they finish rehearsing and turn the lights back on. Best not to interrupt, also, maybe we’d get some ideas after watching them rehearse. With that thought in mind, we quietly took a seat and waited.
The Dark Wolf closes Tim’s dairy in your face, Dear Reader.
“Now, let’s go back to the little crappy apartment in Toronto where the idiot committed a failed suicide and see what happened!” growled the Dark Wolf, with a breath so foul, it made rotten fish smell exciting in comparison.
PART FOUR: LOOSE ENDS (PART ONE)
Back in the time machine, the gang parties. They stop in Germany to drop off the crazy German. Then they start off again.
“Where to?” asks the pilot.
“Don’t have a clue!” replied Ed.
“Wait! Head for Toronto, time to tie up some loose ends.” Eddieson intervened.
The machine hummed a drunken hum, and after about 3 seconds, came to a stop.
“We’re here.” The pilot yells.
The door swings open and they jump out. They find themselves in an old damp apartment. They could hear a faint sound when, suddenly, Syd screams!
“What the hell is that!” he asked, pointing at something hanging from the roof.
“Shit! I think the guy’s hanging himself! He’s still alive, but barely, hurry!” Ed holds onto the guys legs.
Syd undoes the noose and they lay the unconscious young man on the floor.
“He’s passed out, but he’ll be fine as far as I remember.” Said Eddieson, “Quick, let’s go, Syd, grab him. We need to show him something.”
And so they dragged the young man into the time machine and they set off, once again. Inside the machine, the young man wakes up. Ed immediately hands him a joint after telling him to shut up and smoke. By the time the machine came to a stop, the young man had already finished four joints, and now lay seated with a faint silly grin on his face. They got out of the machine, and into an alley beside a building.
“We’re here.” Eddieson said, pointing to the building.
The buildings door was locked, but he somehow just unlocked it and they all go in, into a theatre.
A play is about to start, as they seated themselves quietly.
PART FIVE: THE LOVE THAT JACK BUILT – A PLAY BY SIR WODEHOUSE!
The gang sat quietly in the theatre, and just behind them Tim and Lenore sat, unknown to the gang. The rest of the seats are filled with what appears to be ghosts of dead couples, artists, and writers. Most of them look European.
“Sssshhhhhh! The play is about to start!” growls the Dark Wolf, as you, dear reader, find yourself seated next to the Dark Wolf, just behind Tim and Lenore!
Out on the stage a ghostly figure suddenly appears.
“Hello, hello, hello!” the ghost greets, “I am Mr. Wodehouse, and the play which I am about to impose upon your unwilling eyeballs, is someone’s rendition of a poem by who-knows-who-it-was!”
Someone from the audience, possibly Ed, shouts, “Are you sure you aren’t just a hologram?”
The audience laughs.
The curtains go up, and the play begins!
On the left side of the stage is a beautiful girl, and a young man (apparently a young Wodehouse!) walks in.
Beautiful girl, look at me. I am a fine young lad, full of hope. A head full of hair, a mouth full of teeth, a body somewhat full of fine muscles, a brain full of thoughts, and a fat heart which points at you. Lovely lass, please be mine!
Oh, but that is what you think, I, on the other hand, disagree. In fact, I’ll disagree with anything you say, and if you can make me agree with you, then, and only then, shall you ever have my hand.
Wodehouse walks off stage, and then returns dressed neatly.
I am a good young man. I don’t drink, smoke, or gamble. My future is bright, and I hope that you’ll be by my side.
You may be a good young man, but then again, I still disagree with you. That, I fear, just isn’t enough. You shall not have my hand.
Wodehouse walks off the stage again, this time he returns dressed in an expensive looking suit.
I am a rich man. I have enough money for both of us to last our nine lives. Take my hand and I shall hand all my wealth over to you. We will live a comfortable life and tour all the exotic places on earth.
You may be rich, but there are so many people who’re as rich or richer. You shall not have my hand.
Wodehouse walks off the stage again. This time, he returns dressed in a suit made with golden threads, and buttons of diamonds.
Look at me now, my lady, I am the richest man on earth. I believe that now I shall have your hand.
No, my old headache, you’re wrong. All the money in this world couldn’t buy my love. Wealth isn’t everything, you know, no, you still shall not have my hand.
Wodehouse walks off the stage again. Now, he returns dressed like a king.
I am the king of kings now, my lady. I not only have all the wealth a man might desire, but I also have all the power anyone could ever desire.
Oh king of kings, I desire neither wealth nor power, so I must, once again, gracefully decline. You still shall not have my hand.
Wodehouse walks off the stage again. Now, he returns dressed in a white suit.
Look at me my lady, and look at me good, for now I am God. Take my hand, and I shall give you your heart’s desire. The sun, the moon, or the starts, whatever your heart fancies shall be yours. You will be immortal. You’ll be able to fly like a bird or swim like a fish. I’ll show you the past and I’ll show you the future.
I even created you, my lady, take my hand now, you must.
You may be god, my dear, but I am the free will, and sad as it is, I must decline your offer. You still shall not have my hand.
Wodehouse now tears his suit off and jumps around in anger, his hair in a wild mess, as if it had been introduced to a tornado earlier. He walks back and forth, and then suddenly, he stops.
Ah, well, well... I am your secret lover, and if you tell me it isn’t so, then it’s because you want to keep it a secret. Tell me that I shall not have your hand, and you’ll be agreeing with me, and therefore I shall have your hand. Tell me that you love me and you’ll be disagreeing with me as it proves that you don’t intend to keep it a secret, but then again, the act itself lands your hands into mine.
I think it’s time to surrender to love, my dearest.
With a smile, the shady lady takes Wodehouse’s hand, and they kiss each other’s lips as the curtains slowly goes down. The audience cheers.
PART SIX: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY!
Inside the theatre, the lights go dim, and it gets darker and darker until finally you’re convinced that you’ve just turned blind. Then, suddenly, it gets brighter and brighter, until, finally, you find yourself inside the time machine.
You can see Syd, Ed, and Eddieson inside, playing cards. They all look up at once.
“Ah, it seems like we’ve visitors, eh?” the pilot exclaimed.
“Sorry for the sudden entrance but you all disappeared rather suddenly after the play.” The dark wolf growled in the most polite way possible.
Eddieson looks up and smiles, “Ah, the dark wolf and the reader! Welcome to our little ship, we were dropping off out guest after the play, btw, I believe you’re just in time to join us in our trip to hell.”
“We’re here!” screamed the pilot, and the next thing you know, you’re being beamed out of the machine onto the ground. You scream as you suddenly find yourself facing a gate labelled “Welcome to Hell!”
The good thing is that you’re not alone. Ed, Syd, and Eddieson are standing by the gate too.
Suddenly, the Dark Wolf appears and tears the gate apart, eating his way through. It was at if somebody had opened a door when in the middle of a flight. There was a loud hissing sound, and the next thing you know, everybody was getting sucked in!
A moment later, you find yourself in hell alongside the time-travelling goons. Some twisted demons were trying to escape as you all were sucked in. You feel extremely worried about what the demons are gonna do to your home, earth, that is, until you suddenly realize that you’re the one in hell, forget about the people on earth, you seriously need some miracle, or better start worrying about yourself. Make it quick, while you’re at it!
The first minute in hell is total chaos. A moshpit of demons trying to escape into earth, after a minute or so, when the dust finally settles you look around.
Hell was fantastic! This couldn’t be hell, you think. The place looks like an enchanted garden with floating castles, sexy girls, and clear blue skies!
“What the hell is this place?” Ed asks. The gang was in hell too, along with you, remember?
“This can’t be hell, it’s too darn beautiful to be hell!” syd whispered, nervously rolling around in some flowers.
“Of course, it’s hell!”Said a voice from above. It was the Devil!
Everybody seems to be scared and tried to run, and ran a bit they all did, when the Devil spoke again.
“You see, hell is a place to recycle bad souls, you know. Everybody, no matter how bad they are, has some goodness inside them. It is my duty to amplify that spark of goodness inside them, and then make them observe the evil deeds they did when they were alive. It’s the most horrible torture technique, they say, but like I said, I am just doing my job.” The devil said, “Come, let me give you all a quick tour.”
“If you’re the devil and if this is hell, well, how come it’s so beautiful here?” Ed asks.
“Well,” the devil replies, “That’s because earth has grown worse. In short, the demons that just escaped into earth, I deliberately sent them off, so that they may suffer and perhaps learn their lesson. A long time ago it use to be heaven, earth, and then hell. Now, it’s Heaven, hell, and then earth, you know!”
“This is impossible!” Syd exclaimed.
“Why not?” asked the devil and before anybody could answer, he started talking again. “Excuse me for the intrusion, but when I asked you ‘why not?’ what was the first thing you did? The first thing you did was to immediately, and instinctively, think up excuses as to why it isn’t possible. See?”
“See what?” replied Ed, looking terrified but distantly happy.
“When asked ‘why not?’ the first thing you did was use your brain to think up barriers, as to why it can’t be done, you know. Instead of using your brain to think up ways which would have made it possible, the first thing you did was to use your brain, the ultimate weapon, against yourself.
In your mind your thoughts start with ‘I can’t do this because...’ or ‘it isn’t possible because...’ instead of ‘how do I do this?’ or ‘how can I make it possible?’ You’re just wrecking your brain justifying why you can’t do this or why that is impossible, you know. Isn’t that just absolutely funny?”
“Yeah, sortta, but we came here for answers, you know. I mean, earth’s in a mess right now. Third world war about to begin, economic collapse, power struggles, and the list goes on. We were wondering if you or some of your demons were involved in all this, you know.” Asked Ed.
“No, I am not involved. I am God’s bad side, God’s shadow, and I am under God’s control. Any being that can’t control their bad side isn’t even worth to be a politician, let alone god. My job is to recycle bad souls. It’s a real crappy job, and every eon or so, some other angel will be sent by God to take the position of being the devil, otherwise the devil would go insane, you know. The more souls I’ve to recycle, the more headache I get, you know. It’s just more work, that’s all.” Replied the devil.
Now, you, dear reader, say, “Excuse me but this format is getting kindda monotonous and difficult to read, let’s shift to play format again.”
Eddieson nods, “well, so be it!”
So, like I was saying, I am not involved. All the problems unfolding on earth right now are man-made, and can be solved by men.
Yeah, but aren’t you the one who tempts them into doing bad things like steal candy from babies and stuff? Oh, and then you torture their souls for all eternity. You make them suffer and burn, eh?
No, like I said I am God’s bad side, I am bad, but God keeps me under his control. I punish souls in such a way that they become good, you know. If I just torture them for all eternity, they’ll just become worse, you know, it’ll be such a waste. I believe in punishing somebody into being good, NOT worse! That’s why hell has become better than earth. Look around, after the bad souls get recycled, they didn’t wanna go back to the insanity that is earth!
You’re an idiot!
(Pointing at Syd)
It wasn’t me!
Cut it out Ed! Like you were saying, Mr. Devil, you earlier mentioned that all the problems are man-made and can be solved by men, please elaborate.
Well, why don’t they just put their minds to it? I am sure lots of people would come up with tons of exciting ideas to end the market collapse, war or whatever, if it is declared that a large sum will be awarded to the one who comes up with the best idea, you know.
Yeah, in Miss Universe contest, the contestants always say that they want world peace. Somebody should start a show which focuses on how to actually achieve that, you know. It’s as if we’re not even sure what we want, let alone focusing on how to achieve it!
Right now, it looks as if the whole world’s gone insane!
Well, I don’t think so. It’s just that more undeveloped countries are getting developed. Things are gonna get better maybe. Now, when they were getting developed, like for example: China, they needed a strong leader to unite all the people and lead them up the difficult and hard road of success, whether they liked it or not, for their own good. The people needed to remain lean and mean, like solider ants marching. Because the road to the top is a tough one, and under a weak leader it would all collapse. Now, china has reached its destination and established itself among the superpowers, it can relax, start worrying about its environment, human rights, and develop friendships with the other leading superpowers. A thing which it previously couldn’t afford.
Yeah, and the countries which have been long developed, well, they’ve gone lazy. I mean, when you’re at the top for too long without any decent competition, you get sloppy and lazy.
Yeah, well, I don’t want no competition. I mean, I’ve had enough with wars and deaths!
See, that’s where you’re wrong. Competition can be in many forms, you know, not just war. The thing is that after the technological advancement of world war two, human beings have grown lazy. War is a competition, but then again, so is the Olympics, see! Let all the countries compete every 2/3 years. Let’s see which country comes up with the best idea to go green, save fuel, travel into space, end poverty etc. Why don’t you do that instead of wasting money on reality shows which get meaner and meaner (and our kids learn how to behave by watching these!!! This insanity must stop! Stop wasting time/talent/money/culture) why don’t you humans focus on shows which entertain but at the same time do humanity good?
I think you’re not as stupid as you look.
I was just kiddin’ man, hehe!
That’s enough, Ed. The thing we want to ask you is, why this sudden change on earth?
You see, the story teller has dragged this world to the point of no return. Earth, as we know it, is now all set to become the new hell, or it’ll return back to the glory days of Eden. This is a very crucial point in time for you human beings. Younger generations will either regard this generation as the worse generation ever, or the best generation to ever exist. It all depends on how you all act in this time of crisis. See all the celebrities doing good things recently? The earth is changing. Now, you all must leave. Only dead people and recycled souls belong here.
You all say your goodbyes to the Devil and head towards the gate, when the Devil calls out to you again.
“The two possibilities I gave you, you came in from the world where humans made the wrong decision. Now, if you want to go out into the world in which humans made the right decision, use the other gate. Oh, and God bless you idiots and keep you far away from me! Godspeed!” Yelled the Devil, merrily.
You all head towards the gate and then some demons rush in, all of a sudden, and kick your collective ass out of hell!
PART SEVEN: LOOSE ENDS (PART TWO)
You all land in a beautiful, beautiful place! It looked as if you’ve all died and gone to heaven! Nature and technology co-existing, the air smelling fresh and pollution free, birds singing...
It all looks like a dream! There are flying skateboards, teleporters, laughter, love... the landscape a photocopy of heaven, hanging gardens high in the clouds...
You can’t believe your eyes...
You walk up to an old man and ask him, “What is this place exactly?”
“This is the New earth, Eden part two, that’s what they call it, hard to believe isn’t it? World peace, that’s what you’re looking at. You look like time travellers, I am one too, and believe me it’s unbelievable out there!”
THE ONE WHO LIVED – PART TWO
After watching the play in the soul-pepper theatre, the gang drag their guest (the guy who committed a failed suicide) back into the time machine.
The time machine buzzed a bit and then they were back in the old apartment once again.
“Hurry, he’s about to wake up again!” Ed says, as you all drag him out of the machine.
“Hang him back on the noose!” Eddieson says.
“What? Do you want to kill him?” asked Syd, eyebrows slightly raised and whatnot.
“NO, no, modify the noose into a knot so that it won’t strangle him, but we’ve to leave him hanging, cause that how I remember it, and hurry!”
The gang did as told and just as the man on the noose wakes up, the time machine buzzes out of existence.
The man on the noose wakes up and finds himself on the noose. He cuts the rope and jumps down. He looks at the calendar, and finds that three days have already passed! How the hell is he still alive? And what was that play he thought he dreamt, or was it a vision?
It inspired him to not give up on his love, and after surviving the suicide, he felt special. He felt as if he had superpowers or is destined to save this world or something. He felt as if God loves him, he felt blessed and confident.
He opens his window and wonders if he should jump out to see if he can fly. He was sure that if hanging himself for 3 days didn’t kill him, nothing else would. He was just about to jump out when common sense kicked in, and he realized that even if he doesn’t die, it’s gonna hurt like hell if he jumps out and finds out that he couldn’t fly.
It’s ok though, he thinks. He feels special now. He knows he lived for a reason. He is a changed man now.
A better man.
TIM’S DAIRY: LITTLE HELP FOR MY FRIEND – PART TWO
Dear dairy, Nothing much to say today except for the fact that it’s a happy day! Lenore couldn’t find her bag yesterday, but she wrote down the ghost play we saw, and handed it in as her assignment. Teacher says she’s gonna pass. My play, teacher says, was Ok, which is good enough, although I still can’t understand why she advised me to get my head checked.
Lenore’s says she can now dedicate all her energy into that creepy band of hers. They say they’ll be touring this world soon!
Oh, and the best thing is that, Lenore is buying me free beer tonight, cheers! The downside, of course, is that she is making me sit through an entire album of her horrid songs, but, I guess the beer will dull the pain.
A little loss, a little gain, hehe.
The Dark wolf closes Tim’s dairy once again, in your face, Dear Reader!
Then the Dark Wolf bows at you, while doing so he slides up his own ass, like a snake, and within seconds, disappears completely!
Curtains go down, lights go out... you get up, and walk out of the theatre. You step out into the open. You feel the fresh air and the wide blue skies, you light a cigar, and then, suddenly, it strikes you!
You, Dear Reader, realise that you’re onstage!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Mad Morrison, yeah, that’s what they call me. Not that I mind, and today is a beautiful day, by the way...
Rather refreshing, in these times of darkness and madness... if only you could feel this way forever...
...hmmm... coffee’s mighty strong...
So anyways, I pull the curtains wide open and I lay in bed, coffee in hand, sun, and... and.... I yawn, and a fly buzzes straight into my mouth. I wash it down with coffee.
Now, I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but the little bastard seem to have drank some coffee as I washed it down. A little while later, it started buzzing and flying around in my stomach, and rather enthusiastically at that, I might add.
I calm the little bastard down with half a bottle of vodka. Too early in the morning, I guess, but not my fault, mind ya! As if I wanted to start drinking at dawn, I had no other option, you see!
I blame the fly, and any British American Englishman in their right mind, I believe, would have done the same.
I go to the washroom and cough up blood. I roll around in it a bit.
Must be all the toxic dust I inhaled a few months back, damn! Now, I’ve no choice but to take a shower.
Emily’s woke up. I can hear her singing downstairs. I must make her take singing lessons, perhaps it would make her voice less unbearable. I feel like coughing up blood all over again, just listening to the little nutcase squeak around in such utter tuneless manner.
Must get her to audition for “American Idol”...
I am Emily’s godfather, by the way, and nobody messed with my little nutcase, ha!
She’s been my responsibility ever since Ted went away. She, Ted, and Amanda will be staying with me until buddy Ted cuts down his drinking habits enough to afford a house.
Ted’s in the army. He’s my best buddy, Amanda’s husband, and Emily’s dad. His brain’s a midget, but his heart’s a giant... may God bless him, that idiot. We’ve been best of friends ever since I could remember. Yeah, he’s been pissing me off and getting me in constant trouble for at least 27 years now, ha!
Good thing it’s Sunday today... and ah, here comes the sun, just in time!
I dress up, grab the rest of my whiskey, and head downstairs to get the newspapers. I neatly wrap the half empty bottle up with the news paper, and walked down to the local park, taking sneaky random swings off it every now and then.
The streets were still deserted except for the good ol’ paperboy smoking a joint, hiding behind his bike, and a few hobos near the 7/11. They looked at my newspaper warped bottle, and grinned, perhaps to show me that they’ve accepted me as one of their own. The thought made me sick. I quickly take another swing of the good ol’ whiskey.
Needless to say, mood brightened considerably!
I found myself a comfy area in the park, and, whiskey in hand, I started thinking. Life was so simple when I was a kid, you know. I mean, at least, as a kid, we knew that we were playing games, as an adult, we’ve all completely lost our minds...
We’ve played it for so long, since we were kids, that now we’ve forgotten that it’s all a game. Now, we’re just living the game.
The most violent game.
Fake guns turned into real guns, fake deaths turned real.
Lucky for me, I never took things seriously.
I remained, an American idiot, and come to think of it, life’s good this way. I won’t have it any other way.
I feel like Mr. Wooster of the old, ha!
I watch the pale blue sky unfold the morning sun onto me, such simple pleasures! The park bench I was sitting on, I just realize, has a “WET PAINT” sign attached. Too late now, I guess, I just kept sitting. Too comfy to move now.
Jackie... I remember Jackie.
How can I ever forget?
She was the girl I always loved and always will. Haven’t heard from her in ages now. I just hope she’s happy, wherever she is, whoever she’s with.
I won’t have it any other way. Love is love.
She was my pen-pal. Ha! Never actually met her, but the love I felt and still feel for her... it’ll remain. It should remain, yup, it bloody well will!
Way back, in the summer of 91...
...and a song gently humming...
Ah, what is this mood which consumes me once again, so haunting?
Ambiance of the sunny landscape, it shaves my head, so overpowering!
Revolution in the air.
Flowers, love, and a pair.
So familiar, so fair!
I went looking for her, in her town, ha, on my own!
Oh, and don’t get me wrong, I am not the sentimental type, but the magic that summer, in her town, longing for her. Walking down the streets of her town, thinking about her, seeking her footprints on every sidewalk, longing for her, hurting, yet loving.
Didn’t get to meet her, well, after that, I didn’t get a chance to look for her again. How very unfair, but this is life, I guess.
Everything’s unfair because we make it so.
I fell asleep on the park bench, I guess. It was already noon when I woke up. I walked back home, but couldn’t help thinking about the strange dream that I had. I can’t help thinking about this young men that I dreamed about. He was sitting in the shadows, humming a song, and writing a story. It is real strange but I have this intense, real strange, and bizarre feeling about that story he was writing. I feel connected to him somehow, and the song he was singing, so haunting!
“In life I couldn’t find you, my love, but in death I shall...
In death, nothing shall stop me from finding you, ever again... Hmmm yeah...”
Something along those lines, I guess. Well, enough day-dreaming for a day, I am hungry.
PART TWO: HEAVY MASS MENTAL WITHDRAWAL!
Well, by the time I got back home, Amanda and Emily were having a barbecue out on the lawn with all the kids from the neighbourhood. Just in time to shut my stomach up, I guess, perfecto!
I was just getting down to my seventh hamburger when the neighbour started complaining about the noise. No surprise there, they’re Muslims, they hate to see other people enjoy.
F**kin’ Muslims! I always hated them. In fact, we’ve hated each other’s guts ever since they moved into the neighbourhood. Sworn enemies, of sorts, that’s the best way to describe our relationship. Now, after 9/11, I hated them even more. I hope somebody murders their whole goddamn family.
I go in and grab my old Gibson SG guitar, Marshall Amp, and an extension cord. Back out in the lawn, I turn the volume to max, and start playing “Fight fire with fire”. The kids go wild, in a good sortta way, and the neighbour goes wild too, but in a bad sortta way, perfecto!
I go to bed. I have to sleep early, gotta go to work early tomorrow. Being a fire fighter ain’t easy, to say the least.
I wake up, and cough up some blood. I trick myself into thinking that it’s all a bad dream, and I sleep.
The towers, like giant cigarettes, and out of the windows, it rained human beings!
South tower breaks down, 67th street cross-town bus people, hurry, hurry, stay calm!
Here, dust masks! Put them on Morrison, you’ll need them!
Where’s Michael? Kevin, I dunno, Kevin, what the hell’s going on Kevin?
Shit, Engine 33, watch out Morrison!
Roof coming down on me... One of my teammates pushes me away, gives his own life away to save mine. I try to drag his dying body out of the flames. Can’t recognize him with his helmet on, God, I hope it’s not my buddy Jim... finally outside... I slid his helmet off... thank God, it’s not Jim, it’s... it’s... ALI?!! F**k man, he’s a Muslim, why did he sacrifice his life to save mine?
Morrison, tell my wife that I love her...
I will Ali, my friend, I swear I will, hang in there buddy, everything’s gonna be alright...
Then he died...
I wake up, it’s 3 am in the morning. I want to start drinking but I’ve to work today. I take my job seriously. Absolutely no drinks till after work.
I can’t go back to sleep no matter how hard I try, and it’s already 4.00 am! No use trying to sleep, I turn the lights on, and pull out my old comics.
Doom patrol, funny weird stuff...
I guess I always wanted to be a superhero, in fact, that’s the reason why I got myself a job which allowed me to be one, I guess!
Guess I am still a kid at heart. Maybe that’s one reason why I am such a happy-go-lucky guy... maybe... maybe that’s also the reason why I am still single, hehe!
I drift off, into sleep...
THE ALARM CLOCK SCREAMS!
I wake up just in time for work. I dress up and leave.
Around noon, after lunch break, the fire alarm goes off. We jump onto the fire truck, and we head off. I cough up blood on the way, Sam, a new guy asks me if anything’s wrong.
“Yeah,” I tell him, “mild cough and cold.”
He’s smart, he doesn’t believe me.
“They shouldn’t have reopened Wall Street so soon, you know. Lots of civilians and fire fighters are suffering now...”
“Nah...” I cut in, “I’m just fine.”
“You sure?” he asks, “fine then, btw, Morrison, I’m just curious, but what’s your first name?”
“Can’t tell you...” I reply, “It’s a long story.”
“C’mon, I’ll buy you a beer after work!” he eggs me on, stubborn bastard, hehe...
“A long time ago, when I was a kid, me and my friends use to play in the cemetery. One evening, as we were playing hide and seek, I fell asleep while I was hiding under a huge broken tombstone. When I woke up, it was already midnight, the tower bell chimed far away. It was real dark and I was lost and scare, that’s when I met this weird shadowy guy. He wanted to buy my first name off, and replace it with “Mad”, the price? Well, he told me that he’d granted me two wishes if I did so. I wasn’t allowed to tell anybody my real first name after that. I would’ve laughed it off, but the first wish I made came true, and after that I got scared and decided never to even think about my first name.”
“Really?” Sam replied, “what about the second wish, have you wished it yet?”
“The second wish? Yeah, well, it’s still pending, I guess!” I reply.
We both laugh.
“Well then Mr. Mad, care to tell me what your first wish was?” he asks.
“Ah, the first wish! For my first wish, I wished that it was all a bad dream, and Walla! It was! Just like that! I woke up in my bed, and realized that I’ve been dreaming all along! No cemetery, no shadowy guy!”
We both laugh again, ah, I like telling stories.
“By the way, where is it that we’re going?” I ask.
“It’s just around the block, seems like one huge fire.” He answers.
Shit, that’s my neighbourhood! I just hope it’s not my house that’s on fire. I cross my fingers and wait.
We turn a quick bend and I see thick black smoke from my house! What the hell is going on? Oh God! Shit, shit, this is bad!
I don’t care much about the house but, Emily and Amanda! I pray that you just spare them God, and you can have my life instead!
We pull over, and I jump out of the fire truck.
The house burning belonged to my neighbour, it’s not mine! Thank God, Emily and Amanda are safe!
PART THREE: MYSTERIOUS WAYS OF THE PSYCHEDELIC GOD!
The Muslim family, it’s their house on fire, not mine! Man, I hate them, but I wish them no harm. They’re my neighbours after all, good or bad. No family has to go through this, I hope that they’re all safe.
The house is burning like mad, there was no way in hell we could even go anywhere near it!
Hoses! We bring out the water hoses and start watering the burning house. Good thing is that all the members of the family, it seems, were safe. They had managed to escape! Good, good, I am getting sick of seeing people dying out on me.
Out in the lawn, the family huddle together, crying, watching their house go up in flames. We try our best to put out the fire before it spreads into the neighbourhood, suddenly, the 2nd floor window swings open and somebody screams!
“Elena! Oh my God, she’s still trapped in there! I thought she went out to play! Somebody please save her!!!” Screamed the neighbour’s wife.
And suddenly everybody was shouting and screaming. Another minute or two, and the child would be dead for sure.
I had to do something... no time to think.
What do I do? Shit, no time to think. I mustn’t think!
I didn’t think, I dropped the water hose, and I ran to the truck. I slipped into the fire poof suit, and axe in hand, I charge my way into the burning house.
Once inside it was total hell. Fire and smoke everywhere! I ran up the stairs as it collapsed. I manage to get up to the second floor, but the kid’s room was locked. I smashed my way in, fell over, and coughed up a bucketful of blood.
Damn, not now, so close, yet so weak. It seems like my body’s finally had enough. I black out for a second or two, but I somehow manage to get up again. I could see the kid, and above her some huge burning portion of the roof was collapsing. I make one last effort and jump at the kid.
The kid and me together, outta the window, just in time, and down we fell. I could see the terror in the little girl’s eyes. I positioned myself so that I would land first, that way, the little kid in my arms would land on my beer belly, instead of the hard ground.
I hit the ground, I guess, because the next thing you know, I blacked out.
Dizzy... can’t move... where am I?
Then I remembered. I could hear my friends shout, “He moved!!! The mad bastard, he lives!!! And he did it, he saved the kid! Bastard’s surely gonna make us all buy him beer tonight, I ‘m telling ya’!”
I could hear people cheering. I could hear footsteps, a soft kiss on my cheeks.
“Uncle Morrison, Uncle Morrison, you’re a superhero!”
It was Emily! Seems like the little nutcase had grown some brains, hehe. I mean, of course, I am a freakin’ superhero kiddo, and I’m your godfather, isn’t that just freakin’ cool? Damn, it’s moments like this you live your life for, you know.
Another soft kiss on my shaved shiny head, and a soft voice whispered, “Thank you for saving my life, Uncle Morrison, you’re the best neighbour I‘ve ever met!”
It was Elena!
Now, I grinned slightly at the irony of it all.
I just realized that I’ve just defeated my whimsical enemy, my Muslim neighbour. For years, the two families have been enemies, each family doing something to hurt or annoy the other, and the other family, in turn, doing something worse.
Back and forth, revenge, a circle of pain, in short.
Both parties losing even when they win!
But today, today, I just replied with love. How’re they gonna take revenge on my family now? Hehe! How’re they gonna top that?
With more hate? Nah, I’ll win if they do that.
They’ll probably try to reply with more love, and this time, it’ll be different. This time I’ve just changed the theme of the competition from hate to love, I guess. And if they want to top that, in order for them to win, they’ve to let my family win! See that’s the beauty of love, everyone wins!
In a mere moment, I’ve eliminated an age old enemy, a major pain in the ass, and at the same time gained a loyal friend. I just overpowered them with love, ha! I knew I was smart!
Too much happiness, head hurts!
I black out with a grin.
PART FOUR: INSTRUMENTAL - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Where am I?
I wake up on the banks of a mighty river. A shadow fell upon my face, it was a young man. He was unshaved and shaggy, with long smooth hair, and a gentle smile.
Funny thing was that he was dressed in some sortta rags!
“What’re you watching?” I asked.
“Ah, just the creation of my creation in action.” He replied.
Normally, I’d have kicked his ass, but there was something soothing and calm about this young man. I just can’t figure out what it is, it’s almost as if he’s divine!
“Where is this place?” I asked, “Have I been abducted by aliens or am I just dreaming again or something?”
“No, I just felt that I must meet you, I like you, this world needs more men like you.” He replied, smiling gently.
“What? Whatever next! Do you guys have any beer stores around here, by the way?” I asked. I wanted to have a drink, my body hurt like hell. I could barely move. I have been lying on the ground and talking to the young man, I couldn’t even sit up.
“No, but here, you can have my wine, you deserve it.” Replied the young man, handing over some sortta leather pouch, filled with wine, of course.
“No man, I can’t drink up all your wine, I’ll share it with you, and we shall drink it together, ok?” I said, and took a long, long sip and handed the pouch back to the young dude.
Immediately, I felt a warm blanket cover my body, and all the pain was gone! Freakin’ awesome wine, I guess!
“Hey, thanks man, that’s some wicked good stuff you’ve got there, man!” I said, sitting up without any pain anymore, it’s as if I had completely healed!
He just smiled back at me.
“I must go now, but before I go, I just wanted you to know that what you did was right. For centuries, people have seen war. The funny thing about war is that it never ends. When you fight your enemy, you’ve to completely eliminate them otherwise they’ll take revenge, and it’ll continue for generations. Now, let’s suppose that, after centuries, your family has finally terminated/completely eradicated your enemy. You won’t have any enemies anymore now, but the thing is that, your young ones who witnessed you get what you want by destroying anything that stands between you and your goals, will, on that day learn that destruction gets you what you want. They’ll now start using hate and destruction to get what they want, and since your family will have no more enemies to fight, they’ll fight amongst each other, for little things they want, and in the end, your own family too would be destroyed, or know no peace, and won’t be able to progress due to spending all their time, money, and mind on useless power struggles, because that is the way they remember, how their elders used to win the war. It’s like the spirits of the dead enemies rising to haunt you, destroy you, you know. Take you back to the abyss, with them.”
“...so what’s so great about what I did?” I ask.
“Well,” he replies,” Emily and Elena will now see how, through love, her mad Godfather/neighbour not only erased an enemy, but at the same time, got a new friend too. It’ll be the foundation, she’ll build her life on, because, she has now learned that love is more effective, and at the same time, it has absolutely no side effects!
Most people don’t realise it but that’s what I meant when I said, ‘love thy enemy’, you know”
He said, drinking some wine himself.
“Here, have this.”
He hands me over a loft of bread, just in time to shut my stomach up! I like this guy.
Far away, I could see some fishermen walking towards us.
“Well, I’ve to leave now, John’s here. I must say I am proud of you. Oh, and I think if you walk straight into the garden over there, you’ll find a note someone dropped, I think it’s for you” He tells me.
I am absolutely sure that I am dreaming so I didn’t ask much, I just try to enjoy his company instead.
I stood up, and waved him good bye, and start walking. Funny guy, all dressed up like a shepherd and stuff... I wonder who he is?
“Wait, I want to know your name!” I asked, turning around.
He was already walking away with his fisherman friends, but he turned back, smiled again, and replied, “My name is Jesus Christ, nice to meet you Mad Morrison!”
A bright white light covers me... I float in empty limbo.
I couldn’t believe it... and, where the hell, am I now, by the way?
Anyways, I had already reached the garden, so I look for the note, and sure enough, there it was, on the ground near the garden gate.
I picked it up, here’s what it said:
Dear Mad Morrison,
You lucky bastard you, you’ve just met someone even I haven’t had the honour to meet yet, haven’t you? That was the real Jesus Christ himself, you idiot! I’m jealous! Take care, buddy!
TO BE CONTINUED...
- Eddieson Okram
(The weird shadowy strange guy from the cemetery, remember? Lol!)
P.S: As for your second wish, if you go deep into the garden, you’ll find it, cheers!
My heart Quickened, could it really be? I ran into the garden, rather like a madman, and sure enough, there in the middle of the garden, amongst flowers, a girl in a wedding dress. She looks up at me, smiles, and says the words I’ve been waiting my whole life to hear.
“I’m Jackie, and you must be my crazy pen-pal... come into my arms, my love, in life I couldn’t find you, my dearest, but in death, I have!”
- ► 2009 (49)